Last time, I did up a post about self-confidence. This is related, as many many many (many) writers have a problem with self-confidence. Many. Pretty much all, in fact.
I don't think I'm going to help that with this post. But I'm going to be honest here, at least so far as my own experience and opinions go, which is all any of us ever have to go on as far as stating the "truth". I'm not immune to low confidence myself. It's a strange thing; you want desperately for someone to love your work, yet when someone says they do, without reservation, you're immediately suspicious. After all, you're far from a perfect writer (everyone is). There's got to be something they don't like about it. They must be lying. Why would they do that to you??? Sigh. Thing is, stuff like that is, as I said previously, pretty much a part of being human. Other thing is, when we attempt something- particularly something creative and thusly personal- we tend to be even more subject to low self-confidence. We tend to wear our hearts even more on our sleeves. Does this stop you? A lot of writers, I've noticed, tend to, if not let it stop them completely, let it delay them. This is why a lot of beginning writers don't get out of the gate. Don't do that. Not because you shouldn't (you shouldn't, but me telling you that isn't going to make a difference). Not because you're right and they're wrong. Not because they're right and you're wrong. Not because they're rubber and you're glue. Don't do it because...you can't. Like, not because I'm telling you you can't. I mean, because you just, physically, mentally, spiritually, cannot stop writing. Why do you write? Is it because you kind of wanted to try it someday, because your cousin Irv said he liked that comic you made in eighth grade, because you got praise from your teacher at one point? Is it because you thought it'd be easy? A nice hobby? A pastime? Writing is none of those things. Writing is love. Writing is anguish. Writing is despair, euphoria, all these things and more, most often right in a row. So, why does anyone ever write at all? Because they must. You don't write for the heck of it. It's not a choice. You write because it is who you are. This doesn't just apply to writers, but to a lot of creative types. My Dad's a musician. You probably aren't familiar with his name (link to his stuff here; NOW you know who he is). He's been a musician for... heck. A long time. Since he was a teenager, though he might argue since he was a kid. Basically, his life. It's what he does. It's who he is. My Dad drives me nuts in many ways (he's my Dad, after all). But I have a very high level of respect for him because he's stuck with it. And, at the same time, he is stuck with it. I understand that too. He's a musician. That's what he is. He can't not do it. I can't not write. It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that I can write, that I can do this, but now that I've discovered that, I can't very well stop. It's ingrained. It's as much a part of me as my skin. You take it away; everything falls apart. Ew. That was a really gross metaphor. Anyway. I'm about to say something that you might not like, and this is probably an unpopular opinion. But, my blog, so I'm going to say it anyway. If you stop writing; if you even think about stopping writing permanently; then, I hate to say it... but you're not a writer. It's not you. I don't say this lightly, but if you think about giving up... maybe you should. If you're a real writer...then you won't be able to. You have to want this. Not success, or even publication- I mean, of course you'll want those things, but I mean more than those. You have to want to write. You have to need to write. Whether you become as successful as J.K. Rowling, or live out your days in a cardboard box, scribbling on the walls and on the insides of empty gum wrappers. You have to write. *VERY BIG ADDENDUM*: The previous is, of course, my own opinion, take it or not as you will. And the important thing to remember is: this advice does NOT, not EVER, apply in cases of mental trauma or illness. Writing stems from the brain; thusly, if your brain is sick or injured in any way, the best thing you can do is take care of it. Take a break, do whatever you need to do, to get better. In such a case, stepping away is necessary.
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Rebecca FrohlingWriter, dancer, actress, mother, me. Archives
February 2019
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